The soundtrack to this post is Welcome Home by Radical Face, to be read and listened to in unison.
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I’m on the train tracks again, this time headed north, this time with my brother, Luke, this time returning home. The green of the east sweeping me into its verdant leaves and grasses. The forest, good God I’ve missed it, something the desert just cannot give. But I know the desert now, and I know what it does give – the emptiness outside reflected within, the crucible of heat and desolation, freedom in simplicity and solitude. Walking these steps one year ago, I knew nothing of this. I knew nothing at all. I still know nothing, but at least I know that I know that. Strange, how I am different. Calm. Unafraid, or less afraid. Bigger…no, make it more epic, more dramatic…Vaster. That’s sufficiently dramatic, which is good because life is nothing if not dramatic, big and vast and epic. And I. And you. And think: if every person I’ve met in life expands me into a greater manifestation of myself, then the last time I walked these tracks I was less Me than the Me I am now. I’m 4,000 miles of faces greater, 15 states of voices richer, 11 months of silences deeper. And look how Luke has grown. Look how he’s grown, almost more man now than boy. Almost. I haven’t missed it all.
My uncles greet me on the tracks, then Ashley from Georgia and her friend Ellen, Chris from Arizona and Eddie from Maryland surprise me, and a whole family of loved ones welcomes me where the tracks pass behind my house. Welcome home.
Andrew, remember these things, the ghosts you pulled from the whispers of the walk on the eastward running train, writing frantically in your empty journal so they wouldn’t be lost forever: Never alone & the essential aloneness; the ends and the means, do not confuse them; floating in the flow; breathe; slow down; remember; calm; smile; you know nothing; everything a lesson, everything a blessing; always another angle, always another layer; the immensity of your own insignificance and the beauty therein; it is okay; the truth of goodbye; release; the world is not a scary place; cold drink on a hot day; thank you; reverence & grace; no such thing as loneliness, no such thing as boring; the eternal process; walk in beauty, the beautyway; be in, of, and for love; simplicity; worlds within us; to give and to receive; weep well, weep often; oh, how good, how very good; the great I Am of All that Is; unity in diversity; home and family; be brave; widen the windows into the souls of others; death, my friend; the baffling mystery, the astonishing extraordinary; urge and urge and urge, always the procreant urge of the world, wrote Uncle Walt; free and easy wandering, wrote Chuang Tzu; see; who do you love? let them take you there; have faith in the unfolding; listen.
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There was a giant Cajun man south of New Orleans who let me camp out next to his trailer on the bayou one wet February night. The next morning we drank coffee together and he said to me before I walked away, “You know, really all you’re doing is reading a book, just with your feet.” I’ve read the book – tome, more like – and now it’s time to write the paper on it all, dutiful English student that I am. Because I want to know more, I want to understand, I want to ask what and why and how all over again, not from the road this time but from a cozy little room in the dead of a snowy New England winter, taken onward not by feet but by pen and paper.
That’s the plan for me, spend the next year or so writing and editing all the interviews I’ve recorded into a travel narrative that can be shared, something that can open minds and hearts as mine have been opened. I’m transplanting to Woods Hole, MA to get down to business. If y’all know of any housing or employment opportunities in the area, let me know!
If we recorded a conversation together, I’ll be in touch.
If you’d like me to speak about my experiences to your school, community, or group, let me know.
Everyone else, feel free to write me anytime. Always a pleasure and honor to hear from you.
That’s it for this blog. I’ll post an update here once the writing and audio are finished, but besides that it’s much love and goodbye for now. And of course, the only two words that could ever begin to bring closure to this experience:
thank you.
It was an honor meeting you in Montgomery, Alabama. And, it has been a pleasure keeping up with your travels and adventures.
Compiling a book about your walk may be harder than the walk itself. Reliving all of those memories should be uplifting and reinvigorating.
I look forward to hearing more about your book, how it’s coming along, and seeing the final product.
Best of wishes, and good luck in your future.
Don and Melissa McCanless
Thanks, Don and Melissa. It’s daunting but I’m also looking forward to it. All the best right back at ya!
In all the vastness, the beauty, the emptiness, the fullness, the loneliness, the friendships–in all of that, I hope you saw the face of God, the creator of it all!
What a journey Andrew! Safe home. Hope to see you in Boston soon. Hopefully we can share time together on the beach and you can share some stories. We will make sure your hunger for food, fun and laughter are satisfied! Love, Lorraine.
Thanks, Lorraine! So great to meet your fam in Detroit. Such great people. I hope all’s well in MA.
Yes! And for this moment there has never been a more beautiful you. Write away. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.” -Anaïs Nin
Thanks for being there on that day, sister. Much love.
You are amazing! I cannot wait for the book. If you ever want to revisit North Garden, Va. Let me know. Janice
Of course! I hope to get back sometime soon. Be well!
Andrew, So happy for you … finally home with your family. Happy for your Mom to have you safely back home. We have enjoyed following you across the country you have a way of painting pictures with words. Keep in touch, we will give you a call when we head out to see Robert in Baltimore. God Bless.
Can’t wait to see you all up here. Definitely don’t forget to call and we’ll shoot to work something out! Looking forward to it. In the meantime, be well.
Bless you,Andrew ! rest your feet,now and enjoy your family ! will be looking forward to reading your “book!”All of us,your friends,at Tacky Jacks ,Ft. Morgan,Alabama have spoken of how we miss reading your up-dates…we kept up with you and discussed your adventure very often ! God Speed,to you,in your life….
I kind of miss posting the updates! It’s alright, a new chapter begins, sad to let some things go. Keep an eye out for whatever the bigger project becomes, though! So many thanks for keeping up with me all this way. Much love to you all!
Andrew,
If you come to Chicago, you should speak at the Men’s Center and invite all the Warriors to come. How I walked across the US with a Warrior Spirit!
Also, you are now ready to do Path to Spirit to begin the Path to become a Spirit Warrior. Are you ready? Jim M.
I’d love that. I’ve spoken a few times now and it went really well. Thanks for putting the Path to Spirit on my radar, I’ll begin thinking about it. Many thanks, much love, and so good to see you a few weeks ago.
Just wondering why Woods Hole, MA? Congrats on the completion of your journey. I followed along with you the whole way. I look forward to your book and hope to see you someday once again…Colleen
Thanks, Colleen! There’s a local NPR station in Woods Hole that has offered to help me edit all this audio. I’ll find a job there doing whatever, but just to be in the same space as these people will be invaluable. Hope to see you some day again as well.
Hey Andrew, Brynn here…..I will look forward to purchasing your book someday!!!! One of many I hope.
Thanks, Brynn! Hopefully it’ll get out there in the not too distant future. All the best.
Fantastic. Dig deep with your writing and remember this, too, will be a long process of discovery — keep the faith! You have left your footprint on so many lives…can’t wait for the podcast!
Thanks Jessica! So glad you and all at MGHS are a part of it, a big (and yet unfinished, I think) part of it. Many thanks.